Santa took to the streets to double-check his Christmas list and finalize who really had been naughty or nice. To his surprise, several random strangers told him they weren’t sure about Hamas.
“Merry Christmas,” Santa-on-the-street began as an introduction to random people. “Can you help me finish off my naughty and nice list? I made a list and I am checking it twice.”
Tayor Swift received a universally enthusiastic ‘nice’ rating, as did Keanu Reeves, despite his decidedly deadly John Wick character. But the answers changed when the topic of Hamas was raised.
“Hamas: naughty or nice?” Santa asked.
“Nice,” one young man responded.
“I plead the fifth,” a young girl said, declining to answer, as others answered. “No opinion,” or “I am not going to answer.”
“It seems like a pretty big softball,” Santa countered. “Why are people so morally confused?”
Santa noted that Hamas has openly declared its intention to wipe out all the Christians as well as all of the Jews.
“Did you know that in Gaza three years ago they tried to ban Christmas?” Santa asked.
“How do you ban the birth of Jesus?” Santa’s elf added. “No ho ho ho-ing there.”
“Knowing that, does it change your opinion at all?” Santa asked the formerly ambivalent respondents, who now agreed that Hamas was not so nice and deserved to be on the ‘naughty list.
“That’s not the narrative of the mainstream media,” one young man added.
“If someone came to the North Pole and kidnapped a bunch of my elves and then set them on fire, would I have a right to go find them, and if they hid among civilians, would I have a right to do what I can? Taking children hostages younger than eight months old?”
“Yeah, that’s bad,” a young man agreed.
“So, last time,” Santa said to a crowd. “Nice or naughty?”
After hearing the verdict, Santa declared, “Officially, Hamas is on the ‘naughty’ list.”
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